Something I Need to Clear Up



As you may know, I haven't been active on my blog and my Instagram for quite awhile now, presumably a month, and there are a few things I need to clear up.

The past month has been putting a lot of stress on me, and it hasn't been doing a lot of good to my health, as I've noticed. My skin is flaring up and the psoriasis I thought I'd taken care of once and for all has unfortunately made its way onto the surface again. The reason as to why I've been feeling a lot of stress and pressure is because, as I've probably mentioned quite a few times in my blog posts, I'm currently in the process of applying to various fashion schools. I'm eighteen and since I've graduated high school a few months ago, I'm planning to take a step further into higher education to really broaden up my knowledge and skills surrounding designing, as I hope to take a career path in fashion. It's been a long time dream of mine to create my own brand and for what it's worth, I want to equip myself with as much knowledge about it to really prepare myself for any obstacles. 

Fashion courses, much like any creative or design courses, require portfolios to show your current ability in terms of illustrating and conceptualising. In addition to that, interviews may be required depending on the institution. I've been cooped up in my study desk, every single day, working on my portfolio and trying to perfect every aspect of it so I can showcase what I'm trying to come across with my application. It's been sooooo incredibly stressful and I've had a lot of pressure weighed down on me that I just, unfortunately, did not-could not-find the time to come up with a topic, write a up a blog post, or even go out to take pictures. It's quite saddening seeing as this blog is very personal and dear to me since it is my only platform to share my own style and take on fashion. 

Another thing that I need to address is that, due to my mind being 100% focus on uni applications, I've been experiencing writer's block. A lot of people out there seem to think that blogging, particularly fashion blogging, is easy as all you "need to do" is pull out a few garments, put them on, and take a few shots. But that's not the case at all, well to me it isn't. I've been so uninspired recently in terms of styling that whenever I do get out of the house I just throw on the most basic clothes I have in my wardrobe. Also, it isn't because I don't have clothes, it's because I just didn't feel like styling myself nicely, if that makes sense? I just didn't want to find myself standing in front of my wardrobe trying to put together an outfit that would be interesting enough to be put up on the blog, or on Instagram. I guess a lot of it is also due to the fact that I'm just so physically and mentally drained from all the work I've been doing lately that I just wanted to not have to care or think about my blog.

It's November now and my portfolio is finally done and has been sent out for assessment. For now, I'm really just waiting for the institutions to have a look at it and for them to contact me once they have. I have a few interviews this month and that's all I'm really worrying about in terms of the application process. If it is all successful, I'll-HOPEFULLY-get an offer for enrolment, which is what I'm praying so hard for right now. There's a lot of interesting and exciting things I'm really looking forward to if I do get accepted, one of them meaning that I'll be venturing off into the city and meet new people, take classes, improve as well as learn new skills, and *try* live independently. I'm also seeing a lot of exciting things to come to this blog if I do move into the city as I see there will be more opportunities to come by and I would love to share it here.

This is just the first step: the application. More hectic things that I know for sure will put a ton of pressure on me eventually will keep popping up until the next year. As for the time being, I'm really just trying to take this blogging thing slowly and not have to force myself to post new content every week, instead, on days where I'm feeling so inspired and so pumped up to write up a post. I feel that this way I won't find blogging a 'burden' and I don't want it to become something I have to do, rather, blogging is something I want to do and it's something I find a lot of joy in. So until the next blog post, I'm going to have to end it here. I can't guarantee when a new outfit or beauty or life post will be up, but know that right now I'm trying to find a lot of inspiration and I'm thinking of getting back into the blog game. This post is just a way for me to vent out a few thoughts I've been having lately.

Also, I feel like I will be doing a lot of these personal posts, where I give you guys a little insight on my life and what I've been doing recently because I truly think it's doing something good for me, which is productivity, for the least I guess. I will be writing up posts like this as I take you guys on this journey with me, which will have such a BIG impact on my life.

If any of you have a few thoughts or comments on this, please let me know down below. I find it quite enjoyable to read and reply to some of your comments. For those of you who have gone through, or are going through, the same things as me in terms of university applications, please tell me your experience! I'd love to read all about it.

Until then, bye bye x

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